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May 29, 2021. Poem - I Am Tired

  Here is a poem I wrote on a not so positive day. Good news is that it ends strong.


  Some times I am just tired. Tired of pushing so hard to always be okay. Tired of ignoring and pushing away my sorrow. Tired of always flexing to make sure I will always be strong. Tired of remembering the hard times so the present seems easier. Tired of pulling up others around me so they don't pull me down. Tired of turning around to face the demons trying to sneak up behind me. Tired of fighting a battle that never ends and starts new every moment. Tired of finding reasons to go on when I know it will all end. Tired of making contingency plans just in case I can't live another day. Tired of worrying I am not doing enough with what small amount of time I have been given. Tired of wondering what comes next so I can feel the comfort of a continued purpose. 

    It has been quite exhausting but somehow every day has been a proven miracle that I have made it this far without raising a white flag and calling it quits. I am here. I am fighting. No matter how Tired I get, I have a strategy for each moment. So I lift head up, put on my warrior face, pick up my weapons, and I go to war. Remembering it's not over until you choose it to be over. Remembering I have a strategy.

    Love of life, faith in one's self, and the strength within. 

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